Celebrating Womanhood

I was rummaging through my recipe box when I found a page of homemade beauty product recipes. Years ago I wanted to have a slumber party with a friend and do girly things like facials and foot baths, so I asked my sister, Mychelle, a beauty product creator and guru, for some recipes. In my daily life I am a non-shaving, non-makeup-wearing, non-hair-doing, non-face-washing, barely have space to shower a couple times a week or keep slimy baby hands off my just washed clothes for more than an hour, au naturale type lady. But when I am with Mychelle she reminds me that I am a woman, and that decorating and caring for myself are ways of honoring my body and my femininity. Check out her website and you will immediately see what I mean.

I don't know what my daughter will end up wanting for herself by way of beauty and makeup, but I do find myself wondering how we will connect with one another as females. How will I share with her what it means to be female, teach her about her body and be there for her through her physical and emotional changes? What kinds of rite of passage ceremonies will I hold for her when she first gets her period, needs a bra, or wants to wear makeup? In the same way, Matt has been learning about the importance of rites of passage rituals for our son to support and celebrate him as he grows into a man.

Sharing our femininity can be a way for me to support my daughter as she learns about who she is, why she is, and what she is capable of. It can also bring us together to connect and share with one another in the journey of womanhood. I am reminded of an article in Mothering Magazine I read recently, Saturday Night Spa, where a mother and daughter have created a special Saturday Night ritual of sharing with each other while they bathe, do their hair, paint their nails, and care for their skin:

"Spa has become the perfect time to impart to her some values about body image, gender identity, sexuality, and all sorts of heady issues... Kaya and I have always been able to share thoughts and feelings easily, but in the safe space of our big, steamy bathroom, sitting beside the old claw-foot tub with the candle burning, our connection deepens. The words flow, even on topics that seem to be getting a little tougher to discuss offhandedly while I shuttle her to dance class or chop vegetables at the kitchen counter. As we sit on the rubber-ducky rug and enjoy our supplies, we talk about changes in our lives, upcoming events, and how Kaya feels about her friendships. We talk about the importance of strong, noncompetitive relationships with other girls and women, and how to nourish them. I want her to know the comfort and joy of true sisterhood. I want her to grow up in a community of women who love and support her. I express this to her in our daily lives, but it's during Spa that we get the chance to revel in the sisterhood we share."

I think I'll keep my sister's recipes on hand for special beauty nights for me and my girl. I'm also interested in buying Herbs for Natural Beauty (Rosemary Gladstar's Herbal Remedies) as a reference for learning to make more beauty products together. What a joy it will be to share with my daughter in this way that is so personal, powerful, meaningful, and connecting.

Slumber Party Beauty Recipes

For your face, start with a scrub:

Oatmeal and Papaya Scrub
Mash half of a very ripe papaya and mix in 3 Tbsp old-fashioned oats. Gently scrub face, allow mixture to sit on a face a few minutes, and rinse with tepid water.
(Note: If you can't get ahold of a papaya, mix whole or ground oats with a dollop of your favorite cleanser (or yogurt or milk for dry skin) and scrub gently.)
-Papayas contain the enzyme papain, which dissolves dead skin cells that gather on our faces. Oatmeal gently exfoliates.

Next, relax with a mask:

Strawberry Mask
Blend 6 ripe, hulled strawberries until smooth. Mix in 3 Tbsp whole yogurt (nonfat for oily skin). Smooth over face with cotton balls and rest for 10 minutes. Rinse with tepid water.
-Strawberries contain vitamin C and salicilic acid; they refine and tone the skin. Yogurt is hydrating.

Place cucumbers or cotton balls dipped in whole milk over eyes while the mask sets!

For feet, first soak:

Foot Jacuzzi
Pour 1 cup apple cider (or white wine) vinegar, 2 cups hot water, and 1/4 cup baking soda into a basin in the order given. The water will bubble and foam. Be sure to have extra hot water handy, as baking soda seems to cause water to cool somewhat.

Then scrub feet:

Salt Scrub
Mix 1 cup kosher salt (or any coarse salt) with 1/2 cup almond, olive, or any light oil. Gently scrub feet, focusing on heels and calluses. Scrub the rest of the body very gently. Rinse with tepid water.

Finally, try a mask for your hair and your feet:

Leftovers Hair and Foot Pack
Blend all or pick and choose- avocado, sour cream, cantaloupe, whole plain yogurt, banana, heavy cream, mayonnaise, and honey. Work through hair until thoroughly coated, cover with shower cap and allow to penetrate for 30 minutes. Shampoo and condition as usual. Also, smooth over feet and allow to penetrate while masks soak into hair.

Related posts/links:

Healthy Family, Healthy Community
The Intentional Family
Natural Sunscreen Recipe
Saturday Night Spa
First Menstruation Rite of Passage Ritual
Menstruation, Rites of Passage, and Culture
From Boys to Men: Rediscovering Rites of Passage