Creating Conscious Commitments

I've been feeling tired and busy lately, especially now that spring is here and has brought with it a world of new projects-- namely the garden and lawn. So I've got outdoor tasks now on top of my usual array of indoor projects, kids, and finding time for myself. I feel tired, stressed, and hazy. Is it my body that is tired? Maybe because we are now doing the Atkins diet and eating much less food and carbs? Or maybe it's my thyroid not functioning, which is something I've been reading about considering I still haven't lost a single pound after 5 months of low carb and one week of Atkins induction (fewer than 20 grams of carbs, all of which come from vegetables). Or maybe it's my mind driving me, as it does most of the time.

Matt and I have been thinking lately about the unconscious commitments we make every day, without realizing we're setting ourselves up for failure. That book I have on the shelf, waiting to be read, though I don't want to read it and don't actually have time for it. That bag of compost, sitting there for a week now, waiting to be spread on the lawn. The plants that don't look to good in the garden-- I really should fix them, even though there is nothing in reality I can do for them. All the things my mind makes up throughout the day about what I have to do, like having a better garden, losing weight, cleaning this room, fixing that light, exercising, making this snack, etc. I go around making commitments-- way more than I could possibly accomplish-- adding them to my everpresent mental or physical list, and ending the day feeling exhausted. Some of the things I really want to do, but they just become one of the many items on the long list that can't possibly get done. Does anyone relate to this? I make all these commitments, unconsciously, even though they aren't actually a fit for me, and then sabotage myself by either not doing them or doing them at the expense of the things I really want to be doing, like connecting with my kids or relaxing. I've got myself stuck in failure.

The unconscious way doesn't work for me-- it leaves me with an unending list of things to do, keeps me from stopping to take time with my children or Matt, keeps my body in a state of stress, and leaves me unsatisfied at the end of the day. And the truth is I am not a failure. I am an active, alive, engaged person who wants to enjoy life and the tasks I choose to take on. I want to be conscious when I make choices for myself, and do what I choose to do with presence, clarity, and purpose.

So I've (and Matt too) been working on defining and strengthening my purposes in several areas of my life: Parenting, my relationship with Matt, physical health, spiritual health, piano (I'm taking lessons from Matt), money, blogging, and gardening. Rather than just stating my purpose, I'm doing the Results Process, a tool I learned at More To Life. This process deepens my motivation and gets me focused on productive action. The first step (using a pen and paper to write it all down) is to Define the result, which is the specific, time-based, and measurable result I am wanting to create. The next step is to Deepen the intention behind why I am wanting my result and what it really means to me, including breathing into my feelings to really get in touch with the depth of my intention. Next comes Visualize the result, which means closing my eyes and seeing myself having created what I want, cause if I can't actually see it happening then it doesn't make sense to go for it. After visualizing comes the real fun, Choose specific actions you agree to carry out, where I give my word to carry out certain specific actions in service of creating my result. Finally I Define what support may be needed to carry out your actions, which asks me to step out and ask someone to keep their eyes on me and hold me to my word.

When I've done the Results Process, I feel refreshed, centered, and solid. I can keep better track of my most important tasks. I know what I want to do and what steps to take to do it. I can refer back to my result when I'm faced with the myriad of choices I am swept into making every day, and ask myself if I am really wanting to make that commitment, if it is in or out of line with my purpose, if it supports or hinders me from creating my result. I can notice when I am breaking the commitments I have consciously made, revamp my commitments so they are practical and sensible for me, and recommit when I have gotten off-course (and I often get off-course). The real benefit and struggle is that my conscious commitment to my result gives me an opportunity to really be the person I want to be and live the way I want to live, and to stand solid in the face of the punches coming at me all day. The real trick for me is honoring myself enough to really commit to what I'm wanting, trusting that I am capable of accomplishing it, and disciplining myself to stick with it.

Do you notice the unconscious commitments you make every day? What have you found works for you to keep yourself on purpose in your life? How are you doing with it?


Related posts:
My Struggle With Living Purposefully
Confessions of a Mother
Inner Child
The Intentional Family