Oh Poor Me

I haven't been blogging because I've been busy, and tired. My parents came from Pennsylvania this past week for a visit. We went to a variety of lakes, toured Glacier National Park, ate lots of food, played games, worked in the garden, and enjoyed each other. I think we have convinced them to move to Montana, which will be so awesome. The older my kids get, the more I value grandparents. Not only do grandparents help us by giving parenting advice and babysitting, but they LOVE my children, and my children love them. What a gift.

Now that vacation is over I feel off-track in many ways, groping for a way back to clarity and purpose. Troubles are plaguing my husband's side of the family, causing us to react toward one another in ways that are hurtful. I'm learning about the ways I hurt the people I love, how it feels to be on the receiving end of resentment, and how to trust, accept, allow, forgive, and love.

Because of these family issues, along with sadness at seeing my parents leave and having just come out of a week of not exercising, not sleeping well, not eating the way I want to, not reading, not practicing piano, not blogging, and not connecting with my children, I am now feeling lost, sad, and sorry for myself. My daughter is acting out, demanding and disobeying (which is understandable after a week of less sleep, a different routine and hardly any attention from us), which makes me feel irritated, impatient, powerless, and then guilty.

That is where I am right now. Just wanted to check in with you all. I'm sure all will be well again soon...